Ask Sifu Z: How old is too old?

Dear Sifu Z,

I'm 40 years old. Is it time to quit Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu?

Sifu Z sez:

Dear bjj 40 yrs old -

Should I quit?

The question is "is it a hobby or a way of life?" You see I'm 49. Been doing martial arts for 24 years and plan on practicing until death. I needn't win all the time. In fact I, of late, take great pleasure in getting my ass kicked by one of my female students. She has gotten pretty good, I still dictate the way the fight goes but she is so much more aggressive than I am and so much faster that it's a chore to keep up. Now I'm not that familiar with the details of BJJ but the Gracies practice well into old age.

The question you should ask yourself is "am I gettin' pleasure outta this and is it having a positive effect on my life?" Both need to be yesses. If not, why dontcha try tennis?

Sifu Z

Sizing Savate Shoes

Dear Sifu Z:

I've been thinking of getting a pair of Savate shoes but one foot is a half-size bigger than the other. Should I just get one pair of shoes, or would I be better off getting two different sized shoes - one to fit each foot?

I have purchased 5 pairs of Savate shoes, 4 size 45, one size 44.5. (I'm an American 10.5) The 44.5 fit, the 45's were all too small. I think you'll be safe splitting the difference. they do stretch a bit. You can always take 'em to a shoemaker and have them stretched professionally. At $50 bucks a pair for shipping they get pricey.

Ask Sifu Z - Earholing

Dear Sifu Z.

I was watching UFC 80 and they mentioned that Jason Lambert likes to hit people in the ear hole. Is punching people in the ears a good idea? What happens when you punch someone in the ear?

Well grasshopper,

A very good question. What happens when you punch someone in the ear? Well first off, if, when you hit, the ear canal gets sealed off by your glove, you rupture the eardrum. This is bad for a few reasons. 1) you have a lot of pain, 2) you are now effectively deaf in that ear, 3) if sweat or water or other debris enters the middle ear you can get a middle ear infection which can progress all the way to meningitis which can be fatal, 4) if there was enough pressure from the blow, you may suffer a dislocation of your middle ear bones, which can only be repaired surgically, 5) you may suffer a round window rupture which is very, very bad, you will have some permanent hearing loss, or permanent dizziness or, if infection sets in possible death, and surgical repair is difficult at best.

So someone who intentionally aims for the earhole in a "sporting" contest is, in my opinion, a real jagoff!!! Since it is legal to hit there, this is one area that headgear can minimize the injury. So at least wear it in training.

Z

Ask Sifu Z: Kicking Problems

Q: Dear Sifu Z,

I can't kick high, what should I do?

A. Kick low, idiot.

Sifu Z is an unlikely martial artist who started training 23 years ago because some friends wanted to try it. He has been told he scares people. If you have a question for Sifu Z, email whywenothithard@gmail.com.

Ask Sifu Z: What do to about inappropriate grabbing

Dear Sifu Z,

During workouts, there are some guys, well one in particular, that seems to always 'accidentally' grab my boobs. Does this really happen that often by accident to some people? If not, what should I do?

Sincerely, Sue

Well Sincerely, first off, thanks for your question. You are officially the first to ask “Sifu Z” a question for the Whywenothithard website.

I have dealt with this issue many times in many years. It is one of the reason that the ladies avoid martial arts in general and grappling specifically. Accidents do happen and are pretty obvious. There is usually embarrassment and umpteen “sorrys” and then extremely careful hand placement. These “grabbings” whilst annoying are innocent mistakes and usually take care of themselves.

What you have described is no “accident.” In the Olden Days we used to have a tune up session with the offender. We took this one guy, One Eared Ernie, into the ring for one round of “sparring” after one too many “accidental” grabs. The rules were as follows. One Ear could punch, kick, grapple, bite, whatever. His sparring partner, Big O, would only box. Let’s just say Ole Ern made it through the round unwillingly and there were no bruises that showed. Then Ern crawled back out into the world and was never seen again. No refund either. Now, these days, ring justice is difficult in a commercial school and it does nothing for the offended really. So what I suggest is this- Tittytwist the asshole. Yep that’s right! Next time he grabs one of your sisters, using thumb and forefinger firmly grasp his nipple, left if possible, and turn it clockwise until the volume hits “eleven.” Then in a loud voice proclaim, “Next time you grab my tit, you asshole, little Billy will look over his shoulder forever.” Or you could wear turtleshells.

Sifu Z is an unlikely martial artist who started training 23 years ago because some friends wanted to try it. He has been told he scares people. If you have a question for Sifu Z, email whywenothithard@gmail.com.